Now I Get It

Like most Gordon College students, I babysat my way through college. In fact, I think the Hubbards paid for my wardrobe, my living room couches, and every date Adam and I ever went on. I loved their three kids like they were my own. But the thing I could never understand is why...if their dinner reservations weren't until 9pm...did I have to come over at 6? I mean, some nights could get awkward running around after one of the twins while Lisa walked around in her bathrobe and ate the chicken fingers I prepared, the whole time talking on the phone with her friends about what they were going to wear out, what they were going to drink and how much fun it was going to be.

But....now I think I get it. This past Saturday night all the girls planned a movie night out in the city and I wanted to go sooo bad. But surprise surprise, Adam was working. So I doomed myself to a night in on the couch watching a lifetime movie I tivoed (its not like I've never done this before!). That is until 10am when Sara called and said her hubby was going to come over and watch Will! I couldn't believe it. I was so excited. I spent the rest of the day thinking about what I was going to wear, calling the girls and arranging plans for rides, and figuring out how many naps Will should take so that he is asleep by the time Mr. Doughty came to babysit. It was great. Will worked on his puzzle and I would think about which of my jeans would make my butt look good. Will blew bubbles on the deck and I thought about what kind of appetizers we were going to eat before the movie. Will pulled all the books off his shelf in his room and I checked my watch twenty times thinking there were only five more hours and twenty minutes to go...five more hours and eighteen minutes to go...five more hours and fifteen minutes to go!

And believe me..it was this adrenaline that helped me get ready for the big night out. While I hopped in the shower, Will sat in his high chair and threw cheerios everywhere. While I put on my make-up, Will took every bath product out of the closet and put them under the bed. And when I had just finished getting dressed and Will finished eating dinner, he gave me a big sticky hug and I had to change again. I definitely could have used the babysitter me from four years ago. I probably would have had me come at 5!

When the time finally came, I laid Will in his crib and rubbed his back and I started to feel a little bad. I hate those mother guilt feelings. Even if you are super mom...the guilt still comes every time you remember all the moments you thought about yourself. And there were a lot of them that day. So I told Will about how I was going out , but that I would be back. And then it was time to go.

We had a blast in the city and Will slept through the whole thing while Mr. Doughty and Mr. Dawson stayed with him. I thought about Will a bunch of times...but I also thought about how good it is to be me and not Will's mommy sometimes. And it made me appreciate more the time Will and I spent together on Sunday while Adam worked again. I think what I didn't understand all those years ago when I was just the babysitter is that being a mom means finding the balance between the mom-me and the me-me. It definitely takes a village to raise a child...so thanks guys for babysitting and thanks girls for a great night!

Now our little fam is off to Florida for four days. As long as we survive the flight down..I think we're going to have a great time!